I have just spent a week in my happy place – an amazing music conference that really is my heaven on earth.
But the problem with having a happy place that is only a one-week-out-of-every-year occurrence, is that eventually you have to leave.
And today I got hit with the lovely feeling of being smacked in the face with just how back to reality I am.
First of all, I’m really tired. My happy place happens to be on the other side of the world, so I have spent most of the last two days in the air, in an airport, or in transit, so I’m knackered. If you don’t know me that well, this means that I am in a heightened emotional state, very susceptible to crying and/or yelling. It means that I can’t work very well, and I am going through today with a general grumpiness that makes me horrible to be around.
Second, I am back at work. Don’t get me wrong – I love my work. With a passion. But remember the highly emotional thing?? I have just come back from this conference, highly inspired and motivated to just change things up and step up my game – and I feel like I have been squashed. I have been told ‘no’ a lot of times today. I have been told ‘no’ before I have been asked ‘how’ or ‘why’. I have been pulled from my place of inspiration and motivation and drawn back in to a place where politics and hierarchy play a huge role. And it’s totally bumming me out.
Today, I am fed up working within an organisation where things are shut down before they are tried, given up on instead of worked towards. I am fed up with being respectful of people to a point where I just do what they want instead of doing what I want or what I think will work. I am fed up with working extremely hard and still feeling as though I am not valued.
Today makes me want to quit my job and start my own revolution in the field I work in. I want to lead a rebellion, I want to throw away all the ‘have-to’s’ and experiment with how things should be done for a change.
I know I will feel better once I get over jet lag and have a good night’s sleep. Feeling like you’re about to burst into tears any minute really doesn’t help make your day a good one. I want to curl up in bed, eat the yummy pasta that I made last night, read a book and forget about people and their stupid, stupid decisions.
But before I sign off, here’s my question of the day – where the hell does the concept of a ‘nine-to-five’ come from? Who decided that you had to put in eight hours of work before it was considered time to go home??
Wishing you an amazing day, and a determination to follow your passion!!